In the early part of yesterday afternoon, I found myself standing on a step, looked down and saw those words. It was not by accident.

The thing is, while I know I always need love, I also know I've got love. Man, do I have love.

Last night I was naked sitting outside in an old stone pool filled with hot salty bubbling water with a sky overhead that was turning slowly from a velvet blue to black. I haven't had the opportunity to sit under the stars, naked, in quite a long while, and my soul must have needed a little push. Or a reminder. Or maybe it was just the salt water which was is not a whole lot different than tears.

All I know is that I was overcome with gratitude. And wonder. But mostly just gratitude.

For all the love that I have in my life. The daisy chain of beautiful flowers that just begins with you (because it does, absolutely begin with you) and then just continues up and over and under and around my whole heart again and again woven with webs of gossamer silk so fine and delicate that of course it could break at any moment, but the beat (BEET) is so strong, I only have to sit still for a moment to understand that it is always right there. Just right there. Always.

So I just started saying it outloud. I love you, Jay. I love you, Amber. I love you, Davis. I love you, Beth. I love you, Robin. I love you, JoJo. I love you, Dave. I love you, David. I love you, Dom. I love you, Deb. I love you, Nadine. I love you, Naomi. I love you, Steve. I love you, Roger. I love you, Tamara. I love you, Simone. I love you, Nina. I love you, Lynda. I love you, Chuck. I love you, Joesephine. I love you, Doug. I love you, Tommy. I love you, Talei. I love you, Jessie. I love you, Tori. I love you, Lydia. I love you, Mark. I love you, Skip. I love just kept going. It became a mantra. A prayer. I litany. With each name, another love bubbled up, came into focus, became part of the chain. I had to send it out.

Three older Korean women joined me in that pool and I was still whispering my love out loud. I love you, Gabe. I love you, Lupi. I love you, Phyllis. I love you, Katie. I love you, Gay. I love you, Heather. I love you, Justin. I love you, TP.

They heard me whispering. They heard me in my quiet prayers and they circled around me like they were holding vigil or, more likely, trying to better understand.

I love you, Gary. I love you, James. I love you, Grace. I love you, Gwen. I love you, Valerie. I love you, Joel. I love you, Arthur. I love you, Caitlin. I love you...

One of the woman touched my arm, ever so gently, and asked, "You love me? You okay?" I smiled at her and said, "Oh, yes. I love you and I'm okay."

For a few moments, the spell was broken. She and I chatted briefly about my love chants, my prayers of gratitude, what it all meant for me. She told me she would send some love, too, because love was what we all need. The most.

I had to leave the pool, obviously. I couldn't stay all night with my love prayers. This hasn't stopped me, though. The chain remains unbroken, my I love you litany continues. There are so many of you who I carry around in my heart. So many of you who love me and allow me to love you back, fiercely. You all, each and every one of you, make a very fine beat.

And the beat goes on.

I love you.

By NakedJen, Sunday, May 10, 2015 at 8:23 AM. Last built on Fri, Jul 10, 2015 at 3:41 PM. Reallll soooon now...